Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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