You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
