I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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