Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sobbing to NWA
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
