and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wish there were birth control emojis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize