I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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