Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
