it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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