I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
