last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Crop dusting thru forever 21
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
