How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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