it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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