what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
