Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Randomize
