They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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