doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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