Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
