i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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