Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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