this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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