I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize