I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
What a dumb baby whore.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
