He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
