What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize