Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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