You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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