you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
