i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
