i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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