I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
