'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm passing your future prison.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize