I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
