I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize