he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So squirting runs in the family.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
