Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
