1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
false alarm. still invincible.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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