Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
