i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
operation have a gay friend backfired
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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