She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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