There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
