You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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