If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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