I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
