So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
