I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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