i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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