Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
