girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
