The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
