do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
