i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
