bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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