I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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