you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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