Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
