Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
