we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
