God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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