I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
