but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
