oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
