According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
